Nobody wants to be lonely.

One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. A simple line from a song of the same title, but it means everything. Nobody wants to be lonely. I know I don’t want to be. But how come everyone around me thinks that I do?

Last Sunday, John and I went to the County fair just because it was the last day and we haven’t been there yet. There wasn’t much to do so we just walked around the grounds. We had ice cream but it melted because of the hot sun. Despite of the pangs of hunger, and the different food that our noses were smelling, we skipped eating because we were broke and the food was expensive. We passed by a stand wherein there is a psychic that specializes in palm, tarot card & crystal ball readings. I remember my co-worker telling me about getting a tarot card reading from the same lady a few days back and she said everything she said about her was true. I just wanted to try and see, so I got a palm reading since the tarot card was five bucks more. John listened in as he was sitting right beside me and his turn was next.

Here’s a few of the things that the psychic told me about myself, my future and my present based on just reading my palm:

My life line was good, she said I will have a long life, but she said at the end of my lifeline, there is a blockage, a condition that might prevent me from living long.

I have never had or been in a serious relationship.

I recently lost someone (someone close to me) that is watching me at that very moment. She said that she is my guardian angel, and this person is trying to help me fix my life.

I am lonely.

Out of all those four things I mentioned, she was only right on one thing. What bothered me is that when she said I was lonely, John muttered, that’s true. Did I hear him right? Does my best friend really think I’m lonely? I certainly didn’t think I was lonely. Does it really show? I may look emo in some of my pictures but that doesn’t mean I really am emotional. Being a photographer, I like to see things in different perspective, and if that means taking a self-portrait emo picture, then so be it.
But lonely? I don’t think I am. I have the perfect example of a lonely person. I this other co-worker, let’s call her J. J works the 1st shift at my job. She lives alone, and she has family, but her family doesn’t like her because of her attitude and personality. She cries herself at night and feels sorry for herself because she’s all alone and she doesn’t have anybody. So this bitterness carries on when she comes to work, and bitches at or takes it out on the residents. Which she shouldn’t because she’s disrespecting them. Now, if I compare myself to her, I am not lonely at all.

I have family, and I have my best friend John. I have other friends that live out of state, but I have come in contact with or have seen them. I still have friends back in the Philippines. I have my cats whom I love and adore so much. They just make me happy when I’m not in the mood for anything. My heart might be lonely because I still haven’t found the right person to be with to start a relationship, but I am anything but lonely. I am content with my life. I may not be happy at times, but thats because I still feel that my life is still not in order, and when it is, maybe I’ll be okay. Until then I’ll think of myself as a content human being because hey, nobody wants to be lonely.