I don’t know why you love me,
And that’s why I love you,
You catch me when I fall,
Accept me flaws and all,
And that’s why I love you..
Last weekend, I went to Madison to visit my sisters, and it was the night of the FASO (Filipino-American Student Organization) dinner. I decided to hitch a ride with my sister’s Penoy’s (April) boyfriend Josh because no one else was available to come with me and he was coming up there to visit as well so I tagged along. He was in a hurry to go as my sister was already demanding that we cannot be late. The dinner starts at 7 and it was already almost 5 when he got to my house to pick me up. It takes an hour and 15 minutes to get to Madison from where we lived. He said he didn’t even have time to shower and change. He literally just got home from work and he was wearing work pants and his hands were filthy. I got in the truck and we were off to Madison.
I don’t really remember how my sister met Josh. All I knew was that they belonged to the same group of friends. I think she told me that she was seeing a boy. This was 4 years ago. I think Josh made a difference in her life as well, because before she met him, I didn’t even knew who she was. She was a rebellious 17 year old, barely making it in school, she started smoking and partying and staying out till 2 am in the morning on a school night. She was a damaged soul. I didn’t like her so much I refused to go to her graduation because I feel like she didn’t deserve to graduate because of all the shit she put my parents through that year. This all changed after she met Josh. She went to community college, got a nicer job, and started growing up and thinking about her future. The bad smoking habit is still there but now I learn to accept it because I know she will eventually quit.
We got to Madison at exactly 6:15. Her car was parked outside her apartment, and she was waiting for us and was going to take us to the dinner venue. They were already having an argument on the phone so as soon as we got to her car they had a small spat which was not a big one compared to their usual fights (we will talk about that later). We got to the venue, met up with my other sister and their other friends and ate good Filipino food and talked about our culture. I had a good time despite the fact that I was still hungry by the end of it. I wish there was more chicken adobo and egg rolls with a big mound of white rice. I didn’t really care much for the sinigang that was making everything on my plate all sour.
After dinner, Josh and Penoy had a smoke break while I stayed in and help put away the chairs they used and talk with my other sister Camille for a little bit. I met up with them after and Penoy decided we go back to her apartment. Her roommate and their other friends decided to go to the nearest liquor store and told us to wait for them. Josh realized this fact and told my sister to wait. It looked like she wasn’t going to wait and got upset and we left and decided not to wait for them. Then I got deaf from all the yelling and I don’t remember what they all said. It’s funny how I’m always around whenever they start to fight. I don’t mean to eavesdrop but sometimes they fight about the stupidest things. I love them both, and Josh is like a brother to me, but I just wish they’d tone their fights down a bit. I think I’m going deaf sometimes because between my mom nagging at me, my dad getting mad about everything, and Josh and Penoy fighting, I don’t think I can hear clearly anymore.
But no matter how stupid the fights are, no matter how many times I fear that they will break up, and no matter how many times they get upset about what the other one is doing, at the end of the day they still have each other. I have to admit, I think sometimes Penoy is older than me because she tells me what to do. She yells at me, she’s a nag sometimes, and even gives me hell if I don’t do the stuff I’m supposed to. I don’t complain because I grew up without a backbone. I can’t stand up for myself. I can’t express my feelings and emotions without fear of rejection or that I will get a negative response one way or another. I am emotionally incapacitated and needs guidance in that area. I feel the same way about E. She might not call me for a couple of days because she’s busy, she might not say she appreciates everything that I do for her, or she might not always be there for me because she’s taking care of her son.
They are both important in my life and no matter what their flaw is, I accept them because I love them. Like the famous bible verse says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
I think Josh feels the same way about my sister. I know I can see through him that he is tired and annoyed with her sometimes, which I also see and observe about my sister, but no matter how hard they want to break up and fight constantly, at the end of they day they are still together. I can tell that about my parents as well. They have been married for almost 27 years now, and no matter how crabby my mom gets or my dad losing his patience and being prideful, they are still together and cannot live without each other.
To sum it all up, Imperfections or no imperfections, love is never flawed.
